The ghost in the hallway and an interesting day
it's a bit weird going to the office when you've recently quit in disgust. understandably, you'll have to turn over a few items if you hope to get your last paycheck. Perform this last social service, and you get to escape the prison with your money and your honor intact.
as soon as i stepped inside, i felt like a ghost gliding through the hallway. The feeling is you're not alive, but then you're not quite dead as well. Everything you do, including intereacting with your former officemates, is not the same. They see the glass eyes inside those hollow sockets in your skull.
And the things you must do, you do them half-heartedly (in my case non-heartedly). Strangely, though, you bear no grudges..only longing for the relief when finally done.
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interesting day today. . .
i got an unauthorized phone call from someone i thought was dead - figuratively speaking of course. expectedly, i toyed with my phone but never considered answering the call. i recognized the number and it was a dead giveaway.
funny how people never take me seriously, even when i walk out... they always think it's a temporal thing, and attempt to re-establish with me again after lying in wait for days, weeks, months, or so. Then, one day they decide it's safe to call again and bam! I mean, i feel flattered and all that i elicit enough recall to make people want to connect with me again, but in the overall sum of things --- why?
I know, it's all nice to get over with, and it's probably the decent way to go, but please, let me decide on either forgiving and forgetting. And sorry, i can't give both in some cases. Especially if i'm the star-crossed, snakebitten, lives at number 13 type.
--
Got to talk to an old friend and it's like we never broke communication. same topics, same questions, and same open-ended... ending. A proposal to do something crazy. I might give in... when the time permits of course.
---
then, was able to meet up an across-the-office-but-same-company officemates and announced that i was leaving the 21st floor for good.
They initially didn't take my resigning seriously and thought i just got pissed off and need a few days to cool off. Still brimming with pride, i proceeded to tell them that i was serious, and that it might be the last time i see them in this capacity.
Anyway, I went away with a vague promise of keeping in touch afterwards. But i think i'm expected to fulfill that promise since it came with a direct invite and a direct yes or no directive.
----
Let me see - today is not a lucky day, but an auspicious one. Given all that, i think the Kings shirt (and a baller band proclaiming me King) im wearing today says it all: i can be all powerful when i wear the amulet and not mix my worries with my repertoire of facial expressions. KIngs: the logo of my being. I must have days like this more often...
-----
Later that day, was off to SM City for another round of gift procurement. I swear, our relatives seem to multiply as soon as i turn my back, and it's a rare 15 day-cycle if i don't get dragged to the mall to buy a birthday gift. Sad fact that i can't reconcile the recipient's need with the alloted budget.
One good thing, though, was able to scour the shops and got myself a mounted picture of Mike Bibby, a Sacramento King mainstay. He was wearing the circa 2000 uniform and surrounded by a couple of hated Lakers. Add another jewel to my collection.
------
For those wondering my job status is, i got two side projects on the board, plus this wretched turnover to finish. Still no takers in the market, but i'm not panicking yet. I can always walk-in any call center if needed.
as soon as i stepped inside, i felt like a ghost gliding through the hallway. The feeling is you're not alive, but then you're not quite dead as well. Everything you do, including intereacting with your former officemates, is not the same. They see the glass eyes inside those hollow sockets in your skull.
And the things you must do, you do them half-heartedly (in my case non-heartedly). Strangely, though, you bear no grudges..only longing for the relief when finally done.
-
interesting day today. . .
i got an unauthorized phone call from someone i thought was dead - figuratively speaking of course. expectedly, i toyed with my phone but never considered answering the call. i recognized the number and it was a dead giveaway.
funny how people never take me seriously, even when i walk out... they always think it's a temporal thing, and attempt to re-establish with me again after lying in wait for days, weeks, months, or so. Then, one day they decide it's safe to call again and bam! I mean, i feel flattered and all that i elicit enough recall to make people want to connect with me again, but in the overall sum of things --- why?
I know, it's all nice to get over with, and it's probably the decent way to go, but please, let me decide on either forgiving and forgetting. And sorry, i can't give both in some cases. Especially if i'm the star-crossed, snakebitten, lives at number 13 type.
--
Got to talk to an old friend and it's like we never broke communication. same topics, same questions, and same open-ended... ending. A proposal to do something crazy. I might give in... when the time permits of course.
---
then, was able to meet up an across-the-office-but-same-company officemates and announced that i was leaving the 21st floor for good.
They initially didn't take my resigning seriously and thought i just got pissed off and need a few days to cool off. Still brimming with pride, i proceeded to tell them that i was serious, and that it might be the last time i see them in this capacity.
Anyway, I went away with a vague promise of keeping in touch afterwards. But i think i'm expected to fulfill that promise since it came with a direct invite and a direct yes or no directive.
----
Let me see - today is not a lucky day, but an auspicious one. Given all that, i think the Kings shirt (and a baller band proclaiming me King) im wearing today says it all: i can be all powerful when i wear the amulet and not mix my worries with my repertoire of facial expressions. KIngs: the logo of my being. I must have days like this more often...
-----
Later that day, was off to SM City for another round of gift procurement. I swear, our relatives seem to multiply as soon as i turn my back, and it's a rare 15 day-cycle if i don't get dragged to the mall to buy a birthday gift. Sad fact that i can't reconcile the recipient's need with the alloted budget.
One good thing, though, was able to scour the shops and got myself a mounted picture of Mike Bibby, a Sacramento King mainstay. He was wearing the circa 2000 uniform and surrounded by a couple of hated Lakers. Add another jewel to my collection.
------
For those wondering my job status is, i got two side projects on the board, plus this wretched turnover to finish. Still no takers in the market, but i'm not panicking yet. I can always walk-in any call center if needed.
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