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Showing posts from November, 2005

The Sound and the Fury

However healthy I make it sound in my previous dissertations, there comes a point when speaking out becomes all sound and no fury. This is the moment your emotional bank bleeds dry and you find yourself choking on the words you uttered. This applies to most – ranting, raving, being resolute, and saying sorry. Given enough minutes on the microphone – it soon becomes all sound and no fury. Any way, I got my latest installment when I was surreptitiously awakened by a supposedly dry comment about this very blogspot. Yes! I do have an audience so it seems, but I seem to attract the wrong sort…those who can’t relate, and those who do. Anyway, I got into a shouting match over SMS with the archangel herself, and at the last minute I couldn’t stop myself and let out my most vicious harangue to date. While it felt good again, it drained whatever emotions I have inside me and I flattened out like a helium balloon on comedy night. It didn’t feel the same again. Regardless of the reaction (which wa

Space

Funny that as soon as I promised to write more original things, some songs kept leaping to my head begging to be noticed. Well, if it prevents me from being an all out emoticon, by all means… Here is the next installment in my descent to blackness: I see it inside your eyes, Feel it in your soul. A part of you is moving on, The other half is gone. I don’t know what you want from me, No, you lock it all inside. I try to give you everything, But there’s nothing else that I can hide. We’ve been trying so long. You’ve been pushing too hard. You should say what’s wrong and echo what’s right. You need a little space and I need mine. When you and I all alone, it feels so damn crowded. The house we share is not a home when you’re inside it. So, now, I go and pack my things, girl, I must be moving on. I couldn’t stand to face you, So i, I guess that’s why I wrote this song. You’ve been trying so long. We’ve been pushing too hard. You should say what’s wrong and echo what’s right. You need a lit

Bringing back the body

i was expecting a new twist to the Harry Potter series, but this one caught me completely off guard. The story was told mostly as is, although the pacing was furious, but it never dawned on me that we were sitting through a 2 1/2 hour movie. anyway, it touched me that the book and the movie's treatment of Harry clutching Diggory's dead body after escaping You-Know-Who were the same, and that my reaction to both were similar. "He told me to bring back his body." All thetime Harry was sobbing, and i was acting as if my contact lenses had leaked. Unitentionally, Harry had caused the death of a noble adversary, but he had the wits and the conviction to honor his friend's wish by bringing him back at any cost. Can the same be true to any of you out there? Most of my friends would, but i know someone who would probably make up excuses instead and just be glad to get out alive...you know who. the only damper to my movie experience was my boss calling and me not answering

applying the engine brakes

my poetry teacher used to warn me about using swear words and the like when writing poems. She said it dates the work (probably in the artist's blue period) and that in the long run, you would probably wish you didn't use the word. bullshit. I don't usually swear in writing, but at least i mean it during the few times i do. check the smashing pumpkins song downstairs. the great thing about ranting is that once you run out of steam, that's it. I was never a guy who planned elaborate acts of revenge, as i feel it is self-serving. but forget those psychotherapy babbles about controlling yourself. fear leads to pain, pain leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate -- that's all Yoda crap. if he was so damn great, why couldn't he string up a decent conversation at any point in Star Wars? at the height of the maelstrom, i even forgot what i was so angry about. but you can't blame me, as i had a smorgasbord of choices. in the end, i decided i was angry at myself for

Fuck You (An Ode To No One)

I'm never coming back I'm never giving in I'll never be the shine in your spit I disconnect the act I disconnect the dots I disconnect the me in me And you're mistaken, It's you that's faking Living and breathing and dying too This message is for anyone who dares to hear a fool You can't bring me back, you can't bring me back Cause I give it all back to you Thru sacred alleys, the living wrecks Wreak their havoc upon this world The disenchanted, the romantics, The body and face and soul of you is gone down that deep black hole Destroy the mind-destroy the body-but you cannot destroy the heart And you, you make me so I need to disconnect And you make it so real I don't need your love to disconnect To runaround kids in get-go cars With vaseline afterbirths and neon coughs Galaxies full of nobodies Giving us the farewell runarounds I took a virgin mary axe to his sweet baby jane, lost my innocence to a no good girl, scratch my face with anvil hands, and

Same time every year

Don't believe the devil I don't believe her book But the truth is not the same without the lies she made up... ...I don't believe in ____ her type like a curse Instant karma's gonna get her if I don't get her first... ...I feel like I'm falling like I'm spinning on a wheel It always stops beside a name a presence I can feel - U2, "God Part II" -they say it's for JL but it's probably John Lennon It is kinda strange but the brunt of truth is not really the same if not for the exposition of the hidden. Deception can only take you far, but in reality it can always be felt.

Aztec New Year

Every 52 years or so, the Aztec day calendar (260 days) and calendar of the years (52 years, 365 days) would align, and this was a cause of great celebration. A feast of 12 days would ensue, where all pots and vessels would be broken and all fires extinguished. The highlight of the festivities would be a human sacrifice, where the heart would be cut out (still beating) and replaced with a piece of wood. This same wood will be used to light the first fire, and be distributed among the people so that normalcy would ensue. In a recent New Year celebration gone wrong, the priest himself was tied up and readied for sacrifice. It may have gone wrong, but the event still went smoothly. After all, the priest realized that the continuity of the world was at stake and he made a choice. All the fires were out and everybody was waiting for the new one. If ever, Quetzacotl would take care of vengeance. Fires were lighted on this man's heart, and the plight of ordinary days were restored. Change

Collide

The dawn is breaking A light shining through You're barely waking And I'm tangled up in you Yeah But I'm open, you're closed Where I follow, you'll go I worry I won't see your face Light up again Even the best fall down sometimes Even the wrong words seem to rhyme Out of the doubt that fills my mind I somehow find, you and I collide I'm quiet, you know You make a first impression I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind Even the best fall down sometimes Even the stars refuse to shine Out of the back you fall in time You somehow find, you and I collide Don't stop here I've lost my place I'm close behind Even the best fall down sometimes Even the wrong words seem to rhyme Out of the doubt that fills your mind You finally find, you and I collide You finally find You and I collide You finally find You and I collide - Howie Day ----- i posted the lyrics to this song earlier without adding anything, and i realized i must be che