Ice Carvings

If I could look beyond your face And photograph your hidden place Would I find you smiling in the picture I don't know what you want Because you don't know, So what's the point of asking You're almost happy Almost content But your head hurts Far too many ways to go We learn so much but never know Where to look Or when we should stop looking I can love the whole of you. The poetry I stole from you And hide inside my stomach You're almost happy Almost content But your head hurts It's easy to get lost in you And fall asleep inside of you I want to return to you A reason to be here A reason to be here No I don't know what you want And you don't know So what's the point of asking You're almost happy Almost content But your head hurts - K's Choice, "Almost Happy"

i am in denial. i am in denial over denial. i deny that i am in denial. over denial. and the movies that i chose to watch didn't exactly help me get over my denial. which movies? Trainspotting. Fight Club. American Beauty. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. And backed out of the last minute to watch Saving Private Ryan again. And what does this list say? That i should be in denial.

what is it about people and mass graves? tourists love their photos taken, and that includes getting souvenir shots at some place where tragedy has befallen at one time or another. why would people do that? i have no idea, and then i realized i was such a person myself. I had the revelation while staying at Sibuyan island, where the newest maritime vessel sank after typhoon Frank and took a couple hundred lives with it. i requested that we drop by and visit the place, which really spoke of its horrors even months after the tragedy. So, i was standing there, letting the experience come to me, when my hosts nudged me and reminded me to bring my camera out. It was time to take a souvenir photo before we leave, as it was starting to rain. That was when i realized that there is a morbid fascination with people and death. for fear of offending my very gracious hosts, i joined the souvenir photo session, although i can swear i can hear the low moans of the dead as we smiled in front of the c

after a few weeks of hellish work, i was able to sit down and watch some well-deserved DVDs. My weekend list included some notable classics like Blade Runner (thanks jays and sonee!), Anchorman: the legend of ron burgundy, Final Fantasy VII Advent Children, michael moore's Sicko, and Cruel Intentions. I put in Cruel Intentions as the last for saturday's list, and like my previous viewings, it disturbed me. and this movie has no equal in cruelty, whether implied or stated. mean, there are a thousand other films more evil or horrifying, but in terms of cruelty just for the heck of it, this movie is head and shoulders above the rest. In my humble opinion (okay, let's drop the humble part since this is my blog and i can be as blatant as i can), most "bad" movies have an ulterior motive: money, power, revenge - mostly in the name of business. This is best exemplifiedby classics such as Wall Street and the Godfather series. In others, a woman scorned or love gone wrong

Been thinking about you, your record's a hit Your eyes are on my wall, your teeth are over there But I'm still no-one, and you're not a star What do you care? Been thinking about you, and there's no rest Shit, I still love you, still see you in bed But I'm playing with myself, and what do you care When the other men are far, far better All the things you got All the things you need Who bought you cigarettes and bribed the company To come and see you, honey I've been thinking about you, so how can you sleep These people aren't your friends, they're paid to kiss your feet But they don't know what I know, and why should you care When I'm not there Been thinking about you, and there's no rest Shit, I still love you, still see you in bed But I'm playing with myself, what do you care When I'm not there All the things you got, you'll never need All the things you got, I'm planning to please you, please you - Radiohead, "Thi

This is what you get from high energy collisions between everything else that matters and this yet it exists it matters in the sense that it doesn't mattter considering the very short lifespan but yet it exists though in the blink of an eye. this is what you get when you collide it with everything else that matters in the blink of an eye and all that remains is everything else that matters antimatter can't be stored as it destroys everything that matters but yet it exists you can't make anything matter without creating antimatter in the process - June 29

finally, after more than a month packing it in... the house is almost guest-ready.. the last stumbling block to fall, the DSL connection, was installed just this weekend. Now i am ready to lord it over. and hopefully, this new setup will inspire me to blog a bit more this year...last year was a bit ironic.. plenty of things to write about but nothing coming out the brain into the fingers. i'm 35 for chrissakes. Understandably, I never felt this old before...

I came up with the idea, but i had second thoughts. Nel ignored my blather and proceeded to pack three days worth of clothes for a day tour to Subic. At first i grumbled about the distance. Then, i groused about the steep admission price. Still then, i tried to point out that animals were being kept captive. Finally, i mumbled something about too many visitors and too few attractions. Hours later, i left Ocean Adventure feeling a bit better. About the animals, about the sea, and about me. The aquarium was a bit small by oceanarium standards, but they did house a pretty good collection of sea creatures that i rarely saw during my snorkeling sessions. The sea lion show was pretty entertaining, but it was nonsensical as most animal comedies are. But the dolphin show was way out of sight. Seeing it up close was way way way cooler than watching it on TV. And getting to hear them and touch them was icing on the cake. Like i mentioned earlier, the place is a bit smallish. You can tour the who

it's been a while since my last post, even though there are far great things that have happened since. I know documenting things are pretty much a good thing, but i guess i'm far too involved with my own life to stop and take a breather and write everything down. I'm probably too busy savoring these moments. Or maybe it's because i spend every free time trying desperately to: a. finish the goddamn Pillar of Osiris medium level at Luxor b. have my Legend of Zelda disc work on the Wii. c. fix the crashed external drive full of my pics, music files, poems, and PSP games. at any rate, i've been given a new assignment, one that involves a new office, and a chance to travel and get to know the real country - not just the tourist traps. And i get to interact with all sorts of characters known to society. Of course, i didn't like the idea of moving at first. New location, new job, new things to do. I chafe at the thought of adjusting once again, but upon hindsight i gue

i might be mistaken, but i think Beerkada author Lyndon Gregorio followed up on a promise and featured me and San Mig Light marketing guy Herbert in a Beerkada comic strip last Monday. I kinda downloaded the image but linked up to Lyndon's website. The resemblance might be vague at best, but see if you can recognize me... This sure beats the hell out of FrancisM's promise to give me his James 23 shirt.

yes. We blew all our vacation moolah with the Boracay trip late Januar, so we'll have to lay back and enjoy the city as the metropolis empties itself. Hey, if i got nothing to do, i'm doing it at home... Happy Holy Week!

After a month of waiting for it to happen, it's finally over. my second trip to bora - this time with nel, was way better than expected. being our 5th anniversary, it was high time we tried for a real honeymoon and what better place that we can afford than the one great beach she hasn't been to yet? I was expecting a small crowd to join us on our trip since it was off-peak season, but then i realized while waiting at the airport that in matters like Boracay, there is no such thing as off-peak. More people than ever, foreigners especially, are avoiding the holiday season and coming to the white beach in droves during the months and weeks we locals are supposed to work or study. I was watching a gaggle of Americans waiting for the same plane. I assume they were American, as they are the only culture i know that despite their skin tone, still firmly believe that buying native wear would make them blend in with the local citizenry. So here there are, happily congregating at the wai

in the course of research i came upon this site: http://thehappinessshow.com/HappiestCountries.htm Puerto Rico is #1 and Zimbabwe is the cellar dweller. The Philippines is ranked 30th among the happiest places on earth. just before indonesia and ahead of taiwan. just what the hell does it all mean? somehow, my idea of a happy place is a bit far away from Puerto Rico...

Despite the holiday onslaught I managed to stay 6 pounds off by simply refusing extra rice and just taking in the occasional soda. However, combining this new discipline with the conscious effort of not smoking is killing me a bit. Then, Solar channels decide to stay away from Skycable, which eliminates virtually all my saved channels: JackTV, Basketball TV, ETC. NatGeo and Discovery aren’t designed for continuous viewing so unless I develop a healthy liking for Arirang or NHK I might as well bring out the Wii permanently. Aaaargh! Somebody put me in a coma until the 25 th . Please. It’s been one and a half days. I have 23 days to go before we hit the beaches. The sun, sea, sand, and sky of Boracay for three days – where my only obligation is to relax. Until then, I need to distract myself with work, more work, more sleep, wii, basketball, gym, less food, and better coffee. This is gonna be a nightmarish 23 days. I can't believe i'm saying this, but thank

uh, happy new year. and we're off to a great start, forswearing as usual the cigarettes, continuing on the weight loss program, cutting back on the food intake, and maintaining a booze quota. all for the illusory objective of getting better... honestly, does not reeking of stale tobacco smoke, having smaller love handles, and getting home sober more often make you a better person? i guess at the least it makes a person less noxious and/or obnoxious. the funny thing is, i started the first night of 2008 suffering from acute insomnia, leaving me restless for a good four and half hours and allowing me the unexpected pleasure of rereading and finishing One Hundred Years of Solitude at 4 am Jan 2. But why couldn't i sleep? Am i suffering from withdrawal symptoms from 2007? it's not like i want to hang on to last year. even if i did, what good will that do? it makes as much sense as keeping toenail clippings because you loved the manicure. Hopefully, 2008 makes more sense than i