Crisis of confidence
prologue: I hedged against writing this entry but i guess transparency won over everything else. If i continued writing about just the good things, it wouldn't make much sense 10 years from now, as any offspring might see this and conclude that was a cheery person my entire life.
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We lost a game we should have won last night by 3 points. Led the entire game except the last 2 minutes.
And what's worse, i spent the whole game chained to the bench.
I do realize i may not be as good as the rest of the players, but i try to do my share whenever asked. I really felt bad knowing i could have helped one way or the other, but i guess the coach was afraid i'd do more harm than good. So despite being the earliest to arrive for the game, my jersey hardly worked up a sweat, and it was so bad that my water bottle got home untouched.
I even forgot to bring home my shoes. A teammate took it home with him and joked later that it was lucky it didnt fit him. If it did, i would have given it and retired from the team.
I mean, if i was that bad, they shouldn't have asked me to join the team in the first place. I could have spent the evening working or getting tipsy or watching Transformers the movie on mp4.
Although it would be easy to admit this is sourgraping, i guess it hit me more last night. This is not helping my confidence, whether in basketball or anything else. this only happens to this particular team. I mean, i play in other teams and courts and i hit game winners regularly, so i can safely say it's not ability. I still perform the occasional blunder but who doesn't? all i ask is be given the chance...
What the hell, im playing later. i asked a friend last night if i can play with them later and i will wreck the court and demolish the opposition.
If only i can get my shoes back...
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We lost a game we should have won last night by 3 points. Led the entire game except the last 2 minutes.
And what's worse, i spent the whole game chained to the bench. I do realize i may not be as good as the rest of the players, but i try to do my share whenever asked. I really felt bad knowing i could have helped one way or the other, but i guess the coach was afraid i'd do more harm than good. So despite being the earliest to arrive for the game, my jersey hardly worked up a sweat, and it was so bad that my water bottle got home untouched.
I even forgot to bring home my shoes. A teammate took it home with him and joked later that it was lucky it didnt fit him. If it did, i would have given it and retired from the team.
I mean, if i was that bad, they shouldn't have asked me to join the team in the first place. I could have spent the evening working or getting tipsy or watching Transformers the movie on mp4.
Although it would be easy to admit this is sourgraping, i guess it hit me more last night. This is not helping my confidence, whether in basketball or anything else. this only happens to this particular team. I mean, i play in other teams and courts and i hit game winners regularly, so i can safely say it's not ability. I still perform the occasional blunder but who doesn't? all i ask is be given the chance...
What the hell, im playing later. i asked a friend last night if i can play with them later and i will wreck the court and demolish the opposition.
If only i can get my shoes back...
Comments
I remember how I just quit playing all together, and letting no one know about the real reason behind the decision. I told no other person but you.
Anyway, go ahead and join only those who are fun to play basketball with. :-)
i've always felt that sports was for fun, but i'd be lying if i said na walang thrill ang competition. funny, kasi si haig palaging niyayaya ng boss ko na magbasketball. naisip ko mas bagay ka sa grupo nila :) talk to you soon pre when work cools down.
-charleng
but don't tell that anybody ok?
atsaka ako kaya, 32 at nasa bahay pa? hnye.