applying the engine brakes
my poetry teacher used to warn me about using swear words and the like when writing poems. She said it dates the work (probably in the artist's blue period) and that in the long run, you would probably wish you didn't use the word.
bullshit.
I don't usually swear in writing, but at least i mean it during the few times i do. check the smashing pumpkins song downstairs.
the great thing about ranting is that once you run out of steam, that's it. I was never a guy who planned elaborate acts of revenge, as i feel it is self-serving. but forget those psychotherapy babbles about controlling yourself. fear leads to pain, pain leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate -- that's all Yoda crap. if he was so damn great, why couldn't he string up a decent conversation at any point in Star Wars?
at the height of the maelstrom, i even forgot what i was so angry about. but you can't blame me, as i had a smorgasbord of choices. in the end, i decided i was angry at myself for playing the sucker - again and again and again ad inifinitum. since i was due to learn, but to make it all the more memorable, i unleashed a few lessons myself -- mainly on not to get used to crossing me repeatedly. once will do thank you, but habituals will get the brunt of my rage.
releasing the floodgates of my anger has been very helpful. bottling it all up gives you very painful hernia and leads to peptic ulcers. just make sure that let it run its course, then sayonara to anger. Nothingness should follow.
if anything else, this experience helped me open my blind eye to things i should've paid more notice before: watch out for patterns of behavior. Now that i detached myself, i find myself in agreement with almost all of my real friends. That it never came to a point where it was worth it.
thankfully, intricate plots and well-thought plans were never a consideration in this dance, so there were always giveaways to help me to the escape hatch. I just can't seem to learn to expect thing like this to happen every so often...there lies the lesson, i guess. Costly but well worth it.
i'm supposed to say that in everything life gives you, always have an exit strategy, but i honestly don't think this is the moral here. This argument assumes that you have breed mistrust from the onset.
The point then? Kick yourself for being so dumb as to fall a number of times. Let your anger escape so it can leave. Then move on to better things. But never make the same dumb associations again.
It was never worth it at any point, so why should it change now? More importantly, who cares?
My poetry teacher would probably tell me: Be patient, and more worthy things to write about will come.
I couldn't agree more.
bullshit.
I don't usually swear in writing, but at least i mean it during the few times i do. check the smashing pumpkins song downstairs.
the great thing about ranting is that once you run out of steam, that's it. I was never a guy who planned elaborate acts of revenge, as i feel it is self-serving. but forget those psychotherapy babbles about controlling yourself. fear leads to pain, pain leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate -- that's all Yoda crap. if he was so damn great, why couldn't he string up a decent conversation at any point in Star Wars?
at the height of the maelstrom, i even forgot what i was so angry about. but you can't blame me, as i had a smorgasbord of choices. in the end, i decided i was angry at myself for playing the sucker - again and again and again ad inifinitum. since i was due to learn, but to make it all the more memorable, i unleashed a few lessons myself -- mainly on not to get used to crossing me repeatedly. once will do thank you, but habituals will get the brunt of my rage.
releasing the floodgates of my anger has been very helpful. bottling it all up gives you very painful hernia and leads to peptic ulcers. just make sure that let it run its course, then sayonara to anger. Nothingness should follow.
if anything else, this experience helped me open my blind eye to things i should've paid more notice before: watch out for patterns of behavior. Now that i detached myself, i find myself in agreement with almost all of my real friends. That it never came to a point where it was worth it.
thankfully, intricate plots and well-thought plans were never a consideration in this dance, so there were always giveaways to help me to the escape hatch. I just can't seem to learn to expect thing like this to happen every so often...there lies the lesson, i guess. Costly but well worth it.
i'm supposed to say that in everything life gives you, always have an exit strategy, but i honestly don't think this is the moral here. This argument assumes that you have breed mistrust from the onset.
The point then? Kick yourself for being so dumb as to fall a number of times. Let your anger escape so it can leave. Then move on to better things. But never make the same dumb associations again.
It was never worth it at any point, so why should it change now? More importantly, who cares?
My poetry teacher would probably tell me: Be patient, and more worthy things to write about will come.
I couldn't agree more.
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