Spawn

i've been looking tired the past few weeks owing to a killer schedule, a disoriented state of wakefulness, and a lot of mental anguish about the future involving intangible theories.

If there's one thing i'm good at, it's advertising my state of mental being. And now that actual developments have surfaced, i had to look at myself in the mirror, as I realize that the worst thing i can do at times like these is to play the part of the clueless. Or indifferent. Or even tired.

Looking back, i guess there are three explanations, all valid:

- where i am abundant in terms of rationalization, i sorely lack in empathy
- where i am abundant in terms of lucidity, i sorely lack in perspective
- where i am abundant in terms of expression, i sorely lack in due selection

Then after a budget meeting and before i had to rush back to my office to play host to a group of visitors, i had to rush home and take the very pregnant nel to the hospital and find out why she's having contractions during her 5th month.

(spoiler alert: Nothing bad, as it turned out. But nel really needs to rest and reduce her daily stress. As in 2 weeks bed rest)

then it happened. what used to be a very long week became a long weekend but thankfully something snapped inside me. And guess what the catalyst was?

a visit from the people who spawned you into this world.

got a not entirely unexpected visit from my parents earlier. mostly because of doctor's orders for nel to stay in bed for two weeks to prevent any pregnancy complications. I never felt dinosaur was in danger, but somehow i was worried a bit.

And then they came. Late in the morning and left just now.

And i was happy to see them. It was quite a long time since i felt glad to see my parents, especially considering i usually see them over the weekend.

Mom cheerfully prepared two days' worth of food and helped me shop around for stuff we need for bunkering. Dad was his usual self. He checked my burgeoning (and tasteful!) DVD collection and promptly took in my recommendations as he plopped into the sofa and started watching them one by one.

Seeing these regular people perform their regular routines, i guess it snapped me back into the reality that i am in. And this reality doesn't care what you think. what matters is what's happening before your eyes. I guess i was too busy holding on to an alternate reality that i lost track of time and space.

I felt connected to the real world again. Where i really am. And while it has its share of moments, i'll be there for the rest of my life.

A visit from my parents kinda helped me realize i'll be a parent myself soon.

I'll be spawning a healthy baby boy into this world, courtesy of nel. I know he'll be rational, lucid, and expressive. I just hope he gets from his mom the qualities of empathy, perspective and the ability to make distinctions that i sorely lack.

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