Crisis of confidence
prologue: I hedged against writing this entry but i guess transparency won over everything else. If i continued writing about just the good things, it wouldn't make much sense 10 years from now, as any offspring might see this and conclude that was a cheery person my entire life. --- We lost a game we should have won last night by 3 points. Led the entire game except the last 2 minutes. And what's worse, i spent the whole game chained to the bench. I do realize i may not be as good as the rest of the players, but i try to do my share whenever asked. I really felt bad knowing i could have helped one way or the other, but i guess the coach was afraid i'd do more harm than good. So despite being the earliest to arrive for the game, my jersey hardly worked up a sweat, and it was so bad that my water bottle got home untouched. I even forgot to bring home my shoes. A teammate took it home with him and joked later that it was lucky it didnt fit him. If it did, i would have given ...
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It's called "wheatfield with crows." Rumor has it that it was his last painting before he killed himself but it was shown he painted 9 more paintings before he went to the great beyond.