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made a tactical mistake earlier by driving to UP for the 6 pm mass. the place is a virtual standstill, with all major buildings crawling with 4th year high school applicants all wanting to get in.

yep, it's that time of the year for the much-awaited UPCAT. and i didn't even have enough sense to avoid the whole of diliman during this time.

anyway, while we were driving aimlessly in the hopes of getting a fast lane, i saw this year's batch of hopefuls. since the exams were over, most of the faces i saw were of despair. i don't know the statistics right now, but i guess it's about 1 in 10 exam takers will be lucky to get in. And it's not even luck, but brains.

Anxious parents, siblings and friends also littered the area, as they wait for their charges to climb back into the car and spend the next few months waiting for The Letter. That simple, computer generated letter containing 1 or 2 paragraphs telling you if you made it or not.

rewind a decade and a half or so. it was 1989, and i was on my way for my own exams.

prior to that, i was major pissed at my HS barkada for having the gall to get application forms at UP and not even getting me a copy. I already told them i couldn't make it that day, and asked each one to get me a form. Nobody remembered, and i swore revenge. I promised i'd apply personally and get in -- with or without them.

So i did go to the fabled campus, and swallowed my pride asking where benton hall was. A female student was kind enough to tell me and i proceeded to fill in the blanks without a hitch. came home in time for dinner.

now, the actual exam date was different. i was to go to UPIS, which unbeknown to me, was located on the fringes of campus, along Katipunan avenue. I had taken precious time getting there (i went alone) and i didn't bother memorizing the street signs and the jeep i rode in.

exams proceeded without a hitch. The classroom i was in was pretty ancient, and water stains filled the ceiling. I did manage to look up and saw a 60s style fan hovering above me, dangerously close to losing its last remaining bolt and diving straight to my head. shook off the dread by concentrating on the questions.

we were allowed to bring snacks during the exams and i had the stupid idea of brining tortillos, so naturally, the act of opening and eating the chips posed a small distraction to my stressed co-examinees. Ah who cares?

Well, needless to say i finished in time and glad to be away from the electric fan of damocles, i hastily took a jeepney ride that would whisk me back to familiar surroundings. i was already making plans on my career when i noticed i kept seeing the statue of andres bonifacio every 20 minutes or so. It was then that i talked to the driver and realized i was riding in an IKOT jeep that does exactly that.

I clenched my jaw and thought that this was a very auspicious beginning to four years at State U. I hope that i pass, and that this action-packed day would just be the start, and not the highlight of UP experience.

Months later, i did get the letter. Much as i wasn't qualified enough to take the computer science classes, i was very much welcome to try and get a degree for Creative Writing. Since i didn't exactly apply elsewhere except UST where i took high school, it was a no brainer.

----

Seeing these kids half hoping, half mad, and half expectant as they put their pencils for the last time, i have high hopes for them. The UP grinder would be harsh, and most of them won't ever get to UP again except to attend a mandated play, but at least they gutted it out and took their chances.

Now that's a great first step.

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