Ice Carvings

3 days to go. Beginning Monday, I have to go back to living the life of an office drone - not just any company mind you - a senior office drone for the top local company in the country. I just realized that as of today, my resume is 5 pages long. All those companies, and all those experiences, now etched in laser printer carbon and saved as 1s and 0s on disk. As much as i often left with a heavy heart or an empty wallet, most of the companies i worked for seemed lost without me. Seriously, let's see the scorecard: 1st job: Publishing Firm - Monthly Magazine - part-time contributor (during college) - hired as staff writer upon graduation - promoted to Associate Editor in 3 months Company status when i left: Bankrupt/Closed 2nd job: Local distributor of Apple Computers (pre-iMac) - started as technical writer for 4th Dimension database programs - transferred to PR department as PR writer - concurrent editor in chief of monthly newsletter - concurrent lead business writer - PR assista...

This is why events unnerve me, They find it all, a different story, Notice whom for wheels are turning, Turn again and turn towards this time, All she asks the strength to hold me, Then again the same old story, Word will travel, oh so quickly, Travel first and lean towards this time. Oh, Ill break them down, no mercy shown, Heaven knows, its got to be this time... - "Ceremony," Joy Division Positivism hates me. i was hoping that this day would be a very good day. turned out on all fronts it wouldn't. From the time i left the house to the time i went back, my high hopes were somehow blindsided by reality. And to thihk i was expecting a great week...funny how reality bites when you least expect it. the final humiliating moment came when i attended an event earlier tonight, in really good spirits. it was pre-launch for a good project, and i was hoping that as a consultant, i would finally break free from the chains of being a lackey. i arrived a full 30 minutes before the ...

i woke up the day after my birthday with the anticipation that my birthday wish came true... nope. Two decades later, my wish of getting super or mutant powers have remained unheeded. I still do not possess the ability to fly, be invisible at will, erupt into flames, or harness water in the air to make ice. Sigh! I would've been great at parties...

Speak to me in a language I can hear Humour me before I have to go Deep in thought I forgive everyone As the cluttered streets greet me once again I know I can't be late, supper's waiting on the table Tomorrow's just an excuse away So I pull my collar up and face the cold, on my own The earth laughs beneath my heavy feet At the blasphemy in my old jangly walk Steeple guide me to my heart and home The sun is out and up and down again I know I'll make it, love can last forever Graceful swans of never topple to the earth And you can make it last, forever you You can make it last, forever you And for a moment I lose myself Wrapped up in the pleasures of the world I've journeyed here and there and back again But in the same old haunts I still find my friends Mysteries not ready to reveal Sympathies I'm ready to return I'll make the effort, love can last forever Graceful swans of never topple to the earth Tomorrow's just an excuse And you can make it last, for...

Spent the last few weeks reading and rereading a 2004 year end issue of Esquire magazine, which I pilfered from one of the production outfits I've had the pleasure of working with. Talk about gratitude... Esquire surprisingly came not just as an easy read but a very very good one as well. The topics were a bit off center and the writers, well... they were gods in my eyes. How do you explain the story of a 42 year old dad setting up his apartment into an X-Box center and letting his kids practice until they're ready to face some real full-time gamers. And he did bring them to their headquarters - the Order of Light over at Memphis. Whether you're dad the writer, or the sons out to meet some role models, how much cooler can that get? Which brings me to my topic: will I make a great dad if ever? Spare me the pyschobabble bullshit about being a son of my father and that good traits and bad get passed on generations. They even have a name for it, if I recall my 80s Reader's ...

Them Japanese. They have to do things differently all the time. Everybody used to play with toy soldiers. Then, what did they do? They invented Voltes V and wreaked havoc on the consciousness of millions of Filipino Gen-Xers who suffered decades because some president banned the broadcast of the crucial last episodes. When everybody was happy with talking and texting on their cellphones, they had to make it video capable. Soon, everybody wanted one. I like my fish smothered in oil and golden brown. And what did Tokyo make trendy? Sushi and sashimi and maki. Now, it's not cool if you eat it fried. The Japanese are a bit weird considering they eat raw fishes And don't let me get started on Hello Kitty and Pokemon and Dragonball Z. Which brings me to my point. Even at poetry they had to do things different. Haiku is a poem where each line has a meter Five syllables more... Yes, the haiku. It's not much, but the 5-7-5 lines are designed to evoke strong emotional responses. Hmmm...

What a little dose of punk rock won't do. After slaving away the latter half of Sunday trying desperately to meet deadlines while listening to the wails of Stiff Little Fingers, the Clash, The Sex Pistols, The Ramones, The exploited, and the Descendants, I realized I was guilty of a bit of overcommitting and not really taking advantage of my unique situation. My time is being wasted shuttling between the big fish and the small fry, and often it is my indecision that allows both to escape. And man, I am grinding long hours for peanuts. It's not normal, and it may not be right. Along with indecision, I have laid a number of notable distractions before me. These should be minor annoyances that a simple flick of the neck or the click of a red button should address, but I chose to linger in flights of fantasy by being accommodating. No problem with that, but it often leads me to reshape my schedule and my focus.. bad move. Whether in business or in real life, I realized I have some...

"I never had any friends later on, like the ones I had when I was twelve..." - Stephen King, Stand by Me (1986) How wretchedly true. You never quite outgrow a bond shared at the age where going out meant playing street games and riding the jeepney unmindful of everything else, where the opposite sex are funny and good-smelling species you have yet to discover, and money only meant what you would spend for video games and the occasional movie. On the event of my best friend's birthday, we had a get-together last saturday and i saw faces i rarely see. We've all grown so much apart and somehow that night took us back to the days when we shared common interests and ideals. That night for once, i resisted singing my flagship song. Nel was kind enough to refer my signature hit to an old barkada who showed up after a decade of invisibility. And true enough, he sang it better. Now i gotta go back singing "Silvertoes" by Parokya ni Edgar or "Regrets" by Fra...

"Rave party without the beer." That was how Nel described the experience of dancing in the streets of Obando, Bulacan. For the record, i never saw our trip to Obando as a pilgrimage. While we haven't had any kids yet, the doctors were all in assurance that we're okay and all, and it's waaaay too early to throw in the towel and seek intervention, divine or surgical. However, the idea of going to Obando was thrown about a couple times during our three-year marriage that it was a matter of curiosity getting the better of me. My thinking was, it may not be needed at this point, but what's there to lose? I have no idea to the answer, but i was sure that i had to gain this much: a road trip, a reason to mingle, and a chance to shoot some pictures. So sign me up please. For starters, the travel wasn't much of a road trip. Obando lies in the boundary of metro manila (via malabon) and is easily accessible by jeepney for the price of a soft drink. It's not like...

all you moms out there, Happy Mother's Day! You turn off the light, kiss me good night And mother, I know that I'm going to be alright I just can't wait to grow up Find my own life, be a good wife And a smart one, I'm sure I never took us for granted and I always knew You and I are special But I never knew how much I'd miss you So much has changed and been rearranged And I see that I've lost What made me so young and incredibly strong And never ever wrong You were always there Because you're always everywhere I used to cry for no reason And that's still the same Except that I had adolescence to blame But not now Now I feel sad because I don't know what's true And I miss thinking I could be just like you. So much has changed and been rearranged And I see that I've lost What made me so young and incredibly strong And never ever wrong So much has changed and been rearranged And I see that I've lost What made me so sure that I could endure Ho...

Today's word of the day comes from a scented oils salesgirl from SM Megamall's lifestyle basement: PAPURI I was browsing for some vanilla scented oils earlier, as i wanted my favorite aroma wafting all over my office/attic so i can work in a more conducive (less smelly) setting. Noting the price of a small vial, i asked the intrepid salesgirl why the small 10ml bottle is 80 bucks compared to her neighbor's asking price of 50 (they have no vanilla so there). She looked at me and told me bluntly: " Kasi special yan. Puwede mo ihalo sa kung anu-ano. " Hmm... My mind drifted off as i pictured pouring the valuable drops into anything i could reach: my favorite oil and garlic pasta, my contact lens solutions, the gas tank of the car, refilling ink for my printer, and even putting it in the wash to make our bedsheets soft and satiny. For 80 bucks, everything would come out smelling nice and heavenly... Not to be, as I was rudely shaken off my reverie when ms. intrepid ga...

manila_ice@yahoo.com i was contemplating an Internet ID name change and thought of the above moniker. It's hip, it's short, it's close to the original nick and hits me home. I broached the idea to Nel yesterday while driving. She couldn't exactly determine if i was serious or not. But somehow, every time she says it out loud, she couldn't supress her laughter. what's so funny about manila ice? Aside from the fact that I personally find it so wretchedly contrived, disarming, and unexplicably unnerving. What do you think?

Ach! No site in sight. This is a bit insane. I know i fall victim to writer's block every now and then but this is a first for me: Net Block. My new keyboard works perfectly. I just had the DSL connection set up earlier today. I even cleaned the room to set the mood. But somehow i realized i'm like all dressed up and nowhere to go. I can't think of any damn site to visit to showcase my newfound net speed. Nothing excited me, not limewire, not ESPN motion, not even the allure of supercharged flash sites i couldn't visit before. I even hesitated to log in at blogger. So, all that horsepower available and i simply whined the time with Yahoo Launchcast (1980s alternative) and checking my bids on eBay (more on that soon). The other day, i fell victim to Printer's Block. Agonized over getting a new cartridge or refilling the ink and save moolah. The latter eventually won, but at a cost. Damn clerk kept bugging me to get a new spent cartridge from him since my old one is a...

Finally got the courage to act. I got fed up waiting for her to act normal so i left her for a someone else. Yup, i'm typing on a spanking new keyboard. Alas, she can't be perfect, having wobbly legs, but hey i'll take her over the old bitch that used to stuff extra characters into my words. Oh yeah, after months of researching, the probable culprit of this whole keyboard fiasco is attributed to the habit of eating or drinking in front of the keyboard. Any accumulated particles or moisture tends to make the wires go, er ... haywire. You get the drift. No more potato chip binges for me in front of the monitor. I'll use a spoon, a bowl and an extra side table. Hmm. Spooning clover chips into your mouth...sounds strangely inviting. So, having the new input device should shave off at least 2 hours of unproductivenessand let me get on with my work quicker and with less distractions? Right. I spent a great part of the afternoon inexplicably cleaning the attic (where i work an...

true to form, yours truly jinxed the kings so bad they stopped winning the moment i crowed the 2-2 series update on this blog. the Spurs knocked off my team two games in a row, one at San Antonio and the last one at Arco Arena. All my favorite players are now home and going fishing. Of course, there's always next year! And from the shape of the team, they'll be a force to reckon with next season.

The Kings are back big-time, and even yours truly, the modern male Cassandra, the jinx-god of the premature statements, can't contain his newfound pleasure he had to blog about it. Kings routed the defending champion Spurs in Game 4 earlier, 102-84, evening out the series to 2 wins apiece. I don't really care if they lose eventually, cause it only shows my team has heart. The win made up for a lousy experience last night, where we went to National Bookstore and saw all these official NBA notebooks for sale. Went through all of them and couldn't find not even one lousy Kings steno pad. Ach. I have half a mind to visit the manufacturer. And later, i'll be going to the Bad Boy tour featuring Dennis Rodman in Araneta Coliseum courtesy of 2 free in-law tickets. Finally get to see some real NBA players live. And maybe get some decent memories. Last night was a highlight of bad ones, as i had one of the weirdest dreams ever. I dreamt i was minding my own business at the LRT Mo...

i really don't make sense. i create a blog, write all my deepest darkest (but publishable) thoughts - on anything: reporting blow-by-blow accounts of tiffs with workmates, air frustrations on friends, rip off well-intended events, and write bone-dry travel guides. Then, somebody asks me for a work sample and i casually mention i have a blog. They ask, i cutely resist, then give out the URL. I don't hear from them again. Not an even a Don't Reply rejection letter. Does reading a few entries make them realize i'm not exactly team player material? Now that i thought about it: I hope not, i don't rip off anyone because i'm Migraine Boy or a hatemonger. I usually am a passive, give-in person who never exactly wins a heated argument, especially at the office. I air my gripes through this pixel powered journal. But it's meant for me. It doesn't impair on my ability to write articles, direct a production, develop marketing strategies, or summarize an entire book...

prologue: I hedged against writing this entry but i guess transparency won over everything else. If i continued writing about just the good things, it wouldn't make much sense 10 years from now, as any offspring might see this and conclude that was a cheery person my entire life. --- We lost a game we should have won last night by 3 points. Led the entire game except the last 2 minutes. And what's worse, i spent the whole game chained to the bench. I do realize i may not be as good as the rest of the players, but i try to do my share whenever asked. I really felt bad knowing i could have helped one way or the other, but i guess the coach was afraid i'd do more harm than good. So despite being the earliest to arrive for the game, my jersey hardly worked up a sweat, and it was so bad that my water bottle got home untouched. I even forgot to bring home my shoes. A teammate took it home with him and joked later that it was lucky it didnt fit him. If it did, i would have given ...

Trust me It's Paradise This is where the hungry come to feed For mine is a generation that circles the globe in search of something we haven't tried before so never refuse an invitation never resist the unfamiliar never fail to be polite and never outstay your welcome just keep your mind open and suck in the experience and if it hurts you know what... it's probably worth it you hope, and you dream but you never believe that something is going to happen for you not like it does in the movies and when it actually does you expect it to feel different more visceral more real i was waiting for it to hit me i still believe in paradise but now at least i know it's not some place you can look for cause it's not where you go it's how you feel for a moment in your life and if you find that moment it lasts forever - Orbital (feat. Leonardo Di Caprio) "Beached" There we go again. Somebody beat me to the lines. No regrets though. Makes a wonderful soundtrack when d...

while i would like to thank our previous guest writer, that would be the last time i let a starfish write for me. it was a day filled with adventures and instead of reliving the fun, the stupid living christmas decor decided to use my blog to air his grievances... Apart from the starfish experiment (everything ethical), i found happiness that day starting on a sand castle. With a shovel, a small plastic pail, and a styrofoam cup as molds, i never went far. The warm beer i brought helped me accept the fact that without the proper vision (or molds), i can never create a decent hasbro or lego-type castle. Of course, my companions have long since abandoned me in this effort - they had to sleep away the effects of snorkeling a few hours earlier. Ah, a new favorite activity of mine, snorkeling. I realized while swimming with the fishes that i loved those national geographic shows for a reason. it was exhilarting to see living creatures darting around and singularly avoiding you. you consciou...