Ice Carvings

of all the dumb luck, my PC gave up on me again. 2 nights ago while i trying to get some software for the iPOD i borrowed from my nephew. did all the classic troubleshooting like taking the PC apart and putting it back together, and the monitor still played dead. imagine my worst case scenario: being at home with nothing to do (since going freelance, there are days when i have nothing to do), and the only comfort aside from rewatching DVDs is the PC - where i can surf, chat, check email, blog, download or play RPGs (just final fantasy VIII, no online stuff). and now that has been taken from me, albeit temporary. so im now sitting in this stupid internet cafe, using a dominant casing white PC and trying my best to ignore the 2 youngsters next to me playing an online RPG against each other and doing play-by-play commentary while at it. I'm fighting a losing battle. . . Boredom is not the issue here. It's the feeling of helplessness that comes when the machine breaks down. Even th...

really.. somebody wake me up when january ends...i'm still in a daze of the things i learn about. i'm not going to be stupid enough to mention all (or even some) of the things i found out. if this is going to be the trend for me the whole year, i'm in deep trouble... but in the context of trouble that Harry Potter loves facing, as long as he can count on his invisibility cloak and the assistance of Hermione and Ronald. A year ago, a few months ago, or even 4 or 5 weeks ago, the world was round for me. Now, i'm not sure. Last year, the Kings were racking up a winning season. A lot of my beliefs have been challenged, a lot of words have flattered me silly, and a lot of things have conspired to bring me to a realization that my life is not up to me. silly me. of course it's not. anyway, in these crossroads, i reminded myself of a very astute quotation: "In the fight between you vs. the world, back the world." Which makes sense. So i just go with the flow. Som...

'told you it'll be an interesting day... i went to one of the holiest shrines of my life, and i came to check out for a possible job opening. My afternoon schedule took me the studio where Solar Sports Desk and NBA Jam is shot. And i got to see everything needed to see. It was such an experience that i'm posting my pics. Of course i had pictures taken! What's a camera phone for if not for these occasions? Yeah, i auditioned for a spot as a sports writer. and why wouldn't i? it's like getting paid to do the things that will get me fired somewhere else... like browsing the internet for scores, checking the mvp race, and stuffing the All-Star ballot box with Kings players. Anyway, i came in early (i seem to be doing that a lot these days) and was handled by Noel, the Executive Producer. They were all a friendly bunch and were blunt enough to tell me beforehand in my invite email that there are no openings for now, but they are keeping tabs just in case. I got to me...

for a guy who hasn't got a day job, i'm pretty busy... the events management company i put some time into suddenly gave me more than what i bargained for. I thought was gonna help with the brainstorming and typing part, but the last two days found yours truly helping out with the actual pitches to the client. and boy, did i miss that! not only did i miss pitching to clients, but not having the pressure of somebody breathing down your neck waiting to pounce on you for any mistake. ha. such is life in a northern town... then, i have three job interviews the next three days, including my dream job of being a sports writer, a 2nd interview on monday, and an out of town ocular on tuesday. it's a hailstorm of blessings i guess, and it was almost too late for me to notice due to my insistence of worrying about supposed problems. my present situation is not a problem, but a minor inconvenience that will easily be buried by the sands of time, especially when properly mixed with ceme...

two antennas met on the roof, fell in love, and decided to get hitched. the marriage wasn't much, but the reception was fantastic.

it's a bit weird going to the office when you've recently quit in disgust. understandably, you'll have to turn over a few items if you hope to get your last paycheck. Perform this last social service, and you get to escape the prison with your money and your honor intact. as soon as i stepped inside, i felt like a ghost gliding through the hallway. The feeling is you're not alive, but then you're not quite dead as well. Everything you do, including intereacting with your former officemates, is not the same. They see the glass eyes inside those hollow sockets in your skull. And the things you must do, you do them half-heartedly (in my case non-heartedly). Strangely, though, you bear no grudges..only longing for the relief when finally done. - interesting day today. . . i got an unauthorized phone call from someone i thought was dead - figuratively speaking of course. expectedly, i toyed with my phone but never considered answering the call. i recognized the number an...

The fun part was over, showing the sad little man the door, even if i was the one who went through it. Now the funner part of getting a new job is all over my brain. I am not afraid of plunging headfirst into the market, even if a few stumbling blocks surfaced to my head as i spent the last few nights thinking about my options. What options??? 1. First, i might have a stellar resume, but i do also have mounds of experience. I write at least five previous jobs and as many previous positions. While that may be a boon for most, some narrow-minded HRs may be wary and red flag my application by saying "he bounces around jobs too much." This is a classic argument. On one hand, it's like the NBA journeyman. He has the skills and the touch, but he always seems to float around teams, being signed at the last moment. On the other, i have a "wealth of experience." It's something you can't get stuck in one office for 5 or more years. The reality is out there, and i...

like everything else before, i spoke too soon again. my last blog was all about me detailing my feng shui experience. i guess it was fortunate i didn't buy them crystals yet or have that ancient aluminum painting of four horses (apolocalypse, perhaps?) commandeered from my parents' house. i quit my job early this morning. yep, let me state the obvious here again. i quit. i didn't get fired. it was a routine tongue lashing from that patriarch former boss of mine. after spending countless hours preparing for the corplan session we had yesterday (which includes doing my presentation and his, plus analyzing the rest of everybody else's), i decided to skip a meeting early this morning for the simple reason that: 1. i have nothing to do with the agenda. 2. with all the attendees (around 30+), and my present office door removed a few months ago, i felt there was no way i could work on my report. turns out that despite common sense, my presence was needed by this man. not for a...

The eminent physicist Neils Bohr was once said to have hung a horsehoe on his cabin door. A colleague who happened to visit asked him if he, a man of science, believed in that superstition. Bohr supposedly replied that he understood that the horseshoe will bring luck, whether you believe or not... So it was with me just last tuesday. when our new office was subjected to the wit and wisdom of a geomancer. my boss is hardcore believer in Feng Shui, and prior to our moving in, he asked the services of a well-known Geo' to check the spots. The Year of the Fire Dog is approaching, and well, we're bidding goodbye to the year of the rooster, with all its relative cockups, and what could be better than to have your office Fire Dog friendly? personally, my hyperactive imagination would've preferred a visit from a Necromancer - you know a Lord of the Rings type character. Imagine you and your officemates gathered round when the 'mancer suddenly whips out a wand (or something like...

now on its 3rd day, i haven't had a smoke since Dec 31 2005, 11:45 pm. it's easier than i think it should be, although i look stupid after eating meals just standing there and doing nothing when i used to have a fag between my fingers and inhaling carelessly. steph asked me if my resolution meant that i'll only smoke while drinking. I replied, no, this is totality. And he seemed genuinely impressed - until he turned around and i swore i heard chuckling noises. i once read how a cocaine addict could will himself to give up smoking but not coke. i guess i take comfort in the fact that this is much easier done than feared. yeah, i should be talking...it's only been three days. so the hell with it, i'll work out tomorrow morning and play basketball at night.

Maybe i could make 2006 a year of resolutions. 2005 was more of a revolution for me, and despite the maelstrom, i think i learned to use my brain and let less of my heart go out of my sleeve. Since this is the last day of work, and i have tons of figures to work on, i'll make this quick and painless as possible. Mission: Impossible 2k6 1. Quit Smoking (again) I managed to do so for 3 years. Why can't i repeat my success? 2. Keep a significant stash in case of anything. My personal bank account contains nothing but a pittance, which i withdraw almost as soon as i deposit. 3. Less heart, more brain. Especially at the office. Damn the torpedoes, but i am much more effective as a worker when im impassive. And i should stop being paranoid. To all of you. 4. Keep my thoughts to myself - at least hold out for the maximum Self-explanatory. Let their wheels turn instead of mine. I need to practice saying "It's none of my business" and really mean it. 5. Really not care abo...

This is not the greatest of times to post this newest lyrics installment, but i only got the singer and title right last night as i was locking the car door. had a wonderful dinner over red crabs and shrimp and white wine, then off to a slice of plain cheesecake. unfortunately, either my contact lenses or the white wine, or the crab fat gave me a headache and we had to excuse ourselves at midnight for a much needed shuteye. anyway, this is rachel yamagata, some chicago singer who i don't know previously. thanks to her deep insight, i don't have to write something about this anymore. i edited it a bit to reflect my gender biases. merry christmas to all, and to all a good night! ----unchristmassy insert--- Worn Me Down Gone - (he’s) gone. How do you feel about it? That’s what I thought. You’re real torn up about it. And I wish you the best I could do without it And I will because you’ve worn me down Oh, I will because you’ve worn me down Worn me down like a road. I did everythin...

I finally mustered the courage to do something I’ve been meaning to do for years now. I was hesitant about the concept, and was paranoid about the numerous warnings that it’s not worth it. It took me quite a while to start, and when I did, I wavered during the middle. It took me ages to do something that I should have known how to instinctively. Finally, I drew a sigh of relief as I finally finished it. Now that i did, all i can do is wait anxiously for the impending results of this first time foray. I finally made my first online order. Prologue: The dilemma of gift giving Nel is always at a crossroads on what to give me for Christmas or birthdays. She claims I am too critical of gifts (I am not! I just express my genuine reaction upon seeing my gift unwrapped). She would rather buy me things I need for my everyday use, but as a principle, I prefer out-of-the ordinary (likely expensive) purchases for those special occasions. This loggerhead created the need for us to draw a wish list,...

If we can all vote and get rid of one Christmas tradition, i would mount a signature campaign of at least 1 million john hancocks to eradicate once and for all the scourge of the Lenten Season: The Christmas Song. Nothing irritates the beejezus out of me that hearing the same muzak over and over - in elevators, malls, restrooms, radio stations. Somehow this genre has given countless no-hacks the reason to come up with a single or even worse, a compilation. Here's a definitive list of why i hate them jingle bells. 1. The lyrics are mostly nonsense. take Jingle Bell Rock for example: Jingle bell, jingle bell Jingle bell rock Jingle bell swing And jingle bells ring Snowin' and blowin' Up bushels of fun Now the jingle hop has begun Jingle bell, jingle bell Jingle bell rock Jingle bells chime in Jingle bell time Dancin' and prancin' In jingle bell square In the frosty air Somebody beat the author with a 2 day old loaf of french bread until he pleads for mercy. 2. Despite...

damn PC at home is on the fritz again. was trying to repair my cd-rw drive when i chanced upon my RAM and decided to wipe it clean. now i have two 128MBs but only 128MB is showing in my system. when will i learn by heart the adage "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." anyway, i think i'll be getting some neat upgrades for christmas. we're looking at 512MB RAM, a new DVD drive, and some kick ass speakers. ho ho ho and a bottle of rum... ---We interrupt this blog for an important reply--- I told the starry sky to wait for you I told the wind to sigh like lovers do I even told the night you were true And you would be here soon And now I'm lying to the moon - Trisha Yearwood this time though, the moon is lying to me. again. by definition, truce is a cessation from all hostilities. i haven't been hostile for over a month. what do i need a truce for? that was then. this is now. and i still can't, and i won't trust again ...especially when you ask me for...

you know the saying "paint yourself in a corner?" that could be very well my company slogan, if ever i decide to own a company. Misery is not a company, thank you very much, soul asylum, but i'm not in the market for anything but self-inflicted wounds. anyway, it looks like the story of my life so far. options, options, options.. got plenty of them, and i seem to burn myself silly narrowing them down to one or two, in both cases resistance is futile. take the company i work for right now. the pay is good, the benefits are ok (can't get them anywhere else, especially the car), and the conditions are downright miserable. Im having fun by sticking to my guns but you gotta wonder what's it like to be out there... somewhere other than here. at least i got my poetry mode on again. then take my social life. it actually revolves around default settings. not that im complaining old is gold but some of the old tarnishes the newer so you gotta wonder what's it like to be...

...with asking questions is that the sooner you get answers the sooner the story ends. Scary but true

It's happening again. My favorite team, the Sacramento Kings lost by five points. Last time, it was ten. Their present record is an abysmal 6-11, way way below their usual year end record. The irony is, them Kings have retooled in the offseason, supposedly bulking up in deficient areas like rebounding, low post scoring, etc. With all the trading and personnel moves they did, the team is hardly the picture of what i've grown to love the past couple of years. No more C-Webb (#4), No Doug Christie (#13), No Bobby Jackson (#24), No Scot Pollard (#51), No Hedo Turkoglu (#5). Nothing against the present team, but there are a couple of players i missed badly. Possibly because i already invested heavily and bought quite a few SK caps with their name and number on it. Apart from devaulated headgear, their look and attitude somewhat declined and teams that used to their level took to pushing them around.My patience is wearing thin, but i already declared myself a Kings team fan (love the...

The little conversation Is over very soon And I watch in admiration From my corner of the room. They shine on you with starry eyes... They rain a friendly storm. Like kids around a christmas tree And then you smile all nice and warm The little conversations If I tried my very best You know I never could say anything In twenty words or less. Somewhere, sometime, down the line Someday I may confess, And spill it all. that’s all The little conversations On me are very rough They leave me all in pieces You know there’s never time enough Like a book with missing pages Like a story incomplete Like a painting left unfinished It feels like not enough to eat. Starvin’ These little conversations Well for me they’ll never do Now what am I supposed to do with Broken sentences of you? I’ll stay in my corner `cause That’s all that I can do And let the others speak for me. Little conversations Are we. - Concrete Blonde The hell, i think i'm writing a blog, but all i'm doing is making reviews ...

i was surprised by the fact that no lyrics of any Cactus World News song can be found on the internet. Of all bands, they seem to forget CWN, one of the most influential groups my short life has been exposed to. Anyway, i took the liberty of transcribing "Years Later" for my own amusement. It's probably not 100% accurate, but here they are: Years Later Through these wretched places where the past has been at one o' clock in the morning it's a totally different scene closing the door of the heart now it's gone with the tide There's a burning post not 20 minutes from right where i stand and all around me is breaking up and getting out of hand things will never be the same again we're five years on so much has gone so soon watching and wearing the same old clothes for years who're you gonna blame this time i'm choking back my fears closing the door of the heart now it's gone closing the door of the heart now it's gone disappeared with the ...