Ice Carvings

Saw on reddit the other day that Tom Cruise confirmed the plans for Top Gun 2. That in itself would have made a great banner story, but it kept getting better. On the comments section, Val Kilmer (Iceman) kept posting comments praising his fellow cast members and showing unbridled enthusiasm for joining the sequel. For those who have been idiot enough to still visit this site, which was last active 2 years ago but practically dead for over 10 years now, Top Gun was an inspiration of sorts for yours truly. Loved the testosterone content - the volatile mix of Ray-Ban sunglasses, bomber jackets, monster motorcycles, and the thought of being a pilot in the most competitive flight school in the world. Oh yeah and that volleyball scene...Small wonder that the application rate to join the US Navy (specifically Naval Aviators) jumped to a record 500% after the movie. But I digress. This movie gave me my icemanjl33 moniker, although when in company with people seemingly nerdier than i am, w...

Sometimes you think you know the answers even when nobody has asked the questions so you sit in stupefying silence itching waiting for someone to make the mistake of asking "what is wrong with you?" and all you can do is unleash a maelstrom of rage and accusations both pointless and unnecessary because you know deep deep down you have no idea what is wrong, but you know there is something definitely wrong. -July 8, 2015

"We are currently attending to patients who need our help more urgently. Your patience is appreciated" - sign at the doctor's office I'm well and good with that, but honestly, I come to the doctor's office at the first sign or symptom so I don't have to need your help more urgently. The waiting time, i have it figured down to an exact science: Average waiting time = 1 hour to arrive earlier than the schedule + 1 hour to wait for the doctor to arrive after his/her official clinic hours have started +  2 hours waiting for the patients who seem to be earlier than you no matter how early you arrive. Then the consultation lasts for 5 minutes tops... we can't afford to keep the others waiting long. Which is still good. Even if the good doctor glances at my records, suggests a couple of tests, and asks me to come back again in two weeks. "Only then we'll know for sure." So now I know why you have to wait for the medical team to att...

I hurt myself today  To see if I still feel  I focus on the pain  The only thing that's real  The needle tears a hole The old familiar sting  Try to kill it all away  But I remember everything  What have I become  My sweetest friend  Everyone I know goes away  In the end  And you could have it all  My empire of dirt  I will let you down  I will make you hurt  I wear this crown of thorns  Upon my liar's chair  Full of broken thoughts  I cannot repair  Beneath the stains of time  The feelings disappear  You are someone else  I am still right here If I could start again  A million miles away  I would keep myself  I would find a way

we were brothers. granted, the past few years, we hardly spoke to each other. the hard partying, hard charging, hardingest hardcore cousin i have, went down fighting. by losing, he won. he freed himself and everybody from the pain. That's the cousin i know. Defiant to the end. Rest in peace bro. The band will do a reunion tour in your honor. ----- postscript:  Reading this post after a year or so, I have had more than enough time to contemplate. now i can lash out: What the fuck did I do to ruin this? Granted I am a selfish, thieving, arrogant bastard, who the hell in the group isn't? What made me so special I became the pariah? I still have no fucking clue. And yes, the band did a reunion. And we laughed, got teary-eyed. Drank a lot as usual. Swore to resume the brotherhood despite the fact one has fallen. Guess again. Can't stand talking to one, and haven't heard from the other. And I don't mind. More importantly, neither do they. We...

though i wanted to attempt writing poetry again, i don't think i'm in the mood to bleed ink. So pulled one from my archives of better known poems by writers better than me. Here is a classic from Lualhati Bautista. I first read this during my college days. 20 f@king plus years ago. --- Dyugdyugan bago ka lumapit, gusto kong malaman mo na sa loob ng maluwang na blusa ko diretsahan ito, wala akong suso. ang sagot niya, wala raw ‘yong kaso. nawi-wish ko rin na sana’y pareho kami ni carmi martin huwag kang tanga, sagot niya pag gano’n na kalaki, mahirap ding dalhin. siguro’y alam mo ring nagdaan na ‘ko sa iba sa kamang ganito, meron nang nakasama. ang sagot niya, basta mahal kita. ang tiyan ko’y marami nang bakat ng nagdaang panganganak. sabi niya, hulog daw iyon ng langit bunga lang ng matamis na pakikipagtalik. pero si sharon cuneta, sa kanyang pelikula may asawa na’y virgin pa. sabi niya, kaya kita mo, hindi siya lumigaya. sinasabi ko lang ...

All the words that we have to say They don't leave when the moment comes  We know we have to wait As the days go on and the places fade away to dirt and to dust, it all fades away And the waiting is the hardest thing to take In a moment more before we break If you have to let it go And these dreams keep you awake If you have to let it go Walk away And the shapes we want to see Don't leave another piece that this puzzle needs If you have to let it go And these dreams keep you awake If you have to let it go Walk away - Walk Away, Funeral For A Friend (from the album Tales Don't Tell Themselves) ------ 2013 is an excellent time to get out of the dark and start acting like your age.

Sherlock! I love the way this franchise got rebooted.And especially the way they decided to just put 3 90 minutes episodes in the initial season. Considering i have been rereading SH since the first movie went out, it was a blast to see my favorite detective in a new environment. Everything perfect - the script, the treatment, the visuals, the villains. Warning to the unread, you may still enjoy the series, but please do take time to read the books. Most of the stuff is already - copyright free. It'll help you understand the subtle homage attempts. Can't wait for season 2, which is widely available. This weekend then, off we go to DVD land. Before my first public DJ session. :)

Just read online the participants for the 3 pt shootout in the All Star Festivities next week. WTF? No Jimmer in the 3 point contest??? Somebody has to take the blame. I blame his Coach, who utilizes Jimmer like a knife in a shootout. Despite his marked improvement, his exposure and minutes are as consistent as hell. But mainly, FTM. 

You know the feeling you know where you're headed toward somewhere and you know which direction to take yet you fidget with the mirror, consult the travel maps yet again and generally try all to reason yourself out of travelling? I don't either. My life is pointless. What good are maps if you hesitate to step on the gas? Maybe i should take up meditation. Or medication. Or both. Blogs don't have to be long entries all the time so screw it. I'm out.

Sigh! I just realized it's been ages since my last post but like I mentioned before, my life is way too much interesting to stop and write some of it down. Or maybe this blog is too valuable to ruin with the commonplace and the absurd. I miss hanging out with my blog but real life is getting in the way. Maybe if there's anything to blame for this current state of undocumentation, it has to be the book The Beach (please remove all pretensions that the movie taken from it is the same) by Alex Garland. It tells the story of how some people like to be on the forefront of discovery, and that the place to go is the place that has yet to be on the map. Richard, the protagonist and narrator who is an avid backpacker, said that he loathed bring cameras to his journey as the posed pictures often make a snapshot of something trivial during the journey and doesn't capture the essence of the trip. I guess I'd like to say the same about this blog but I do really need to stop more an...

“The depth of the field is too much for our athletes. But there’s nothing to be ashamed off. They did their best.”  - Olympics chief of mission Manny Lopez, commenting on the Philippines' performance so far at the London Olympics (from Inquirer news: "Down to 5 as archer Javier falls" August 3, 2012. http://www.inquirer.net ) Apart from the fact that I hope for god's sake it is the correspondent and not the chief of mission who misspelled "off" in the second sentence, this is yet another reflection on the sad state of Philippine athletics. I'm not saying anything but isn't this what you expect when we have sports programs run by bureaucrats who seem to prioritize attendance over performance.  I guess the only thing that gets my underwear in a twist is that matter-of-fact quote that "there's nothing to be ashamed of." Really? We had to go to the London Games to realize that? Aren't we supposed to know that 4 years ago in Beijing...

The Heat finally won over the Thunder earlier 4-1. That man played beyond expectations and really carried Miami towards the promised land... ...meh. I must admit they played a heck of a series and a monster playoffs. Hats off to a deserving winner. ..meh

Now and then I think of when we were together Like when you said you felt so happy you could die I told myself that you were right for me But felt so lonely in your company But that was love and it's an ache I still remember You can get addicted to a certain kinda sadness Like resignation to the end, always the end  So when we found that we could not make sense Well you said that we would still be friends But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over But you didn't have to cut me off  Make it like it never happened and that we were nothing  I don't even need your love, but you treat me like a stranger And that feels so rough No, you didn't have to stoop so low Have your friends collect your records And then change your number Guess that I don't need that though Now you're just somebody that I used to know Now you're just somebody that I used to know Now you're just somebody that I used to know Now and then I think of all ...

After 30 years of going back and forth, i finally solved my rubik's cube last night. Yes, i consulted some guides and finally understood some of the words in them, thereby seeing through the pattern. The experience is similar to be able to view the real world in a green matrix, albeit no bitchin' shades and trench coats. Now, it's just a matter of getting the algorithm down pat (as in memorized). With this remarkable triumph of the human spirit over IQ limitations comes the inevitable question: Now what? More importantly, so what? After a few decades, this accomplishment by itself, is more of a too-little, too-late effort. The last time the cube was cool, oversized shades were in vogue. But solving the cube was on my list, damnit, and i have prevailed. Never mind it took three decades, a google search and countless knockoffs. Now all i need to do is find the few people who actually know what a rubik's cube is... ...and who actually care.

(Note: This was supposed to be an epilogue for the previous post but then it took a life of its own. ) 2012 is purported to be the End of the World. Of course, some other dates were purported to be the end of the world, but hey, here we are. Why aren't you enjoying life instead of reading this blog? For generations past, there were a couple of non-specific end-of-the-world songs that would probably be a nice accompaniment while your world was literally crumbling down. REM had a catchy doomsday song, "It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)" which alludes to a world (at least their world) spinning madly out of control. U2 was all emo-love gloom with their "Until the End of the World" ballad. Of course, there are countless others, and each seemed to symbolize what to do or how to look back when the sky is falling in front of you. As for 2012, I really hope it doesn't lead to Armageddon if only for the background music. It would be ...

Happy New Year! Here's to another round of promises, resolutions, and optimistic assessments as we look at 2012 as the year the wheel turns upward. Here's to critical thinking fueled by countdown champagne on things you'd like to change about yourself for the better. Apart from the usual suspects like fitness, diet, exercise, and work attitude, I got the inspiration for this year's mantra from a Youtube surfing session with my son. Tyring desperately to get him to sleep, I looked for a couple of vids that are entertaining, eductional and would hold both our interest. The answer: Sesame Stree classic videos. What hit me hardest was Ernie's enchanting ditty about going far away: Well, I'd like to visit the moon On a rocket ship high in the air Yes, I'd like to visit the moon But I don't think I'd like to live there Though I'd like to look down at the earth from above I would miss all the places and people I love So although I might like...

This is a first. While working on routine paperwork filing critical to jumpstarting every Monday, something odd happened. Reaching in my drawer absentmindedly and without a cursory glance, i realized that i have achieved something that very few office folk experience. I ran out of paper clips. Seriously, how can one run out of paper clips? Staple wires i can understand, but paper clips? Is there anything else less regulated than these pieces of twice-bent wires? Has anybody ever been accused of hoarding paper clips even if they have way too much? Since everybody else was out at this time, i managed to swipe some off my co-worker's desk. I think when left alone, her stock of paper clips multiply on their own, so I guess she wouldn't notice. Now back to work

I'm hung over... From Ad Congress. Not from the usual effects of alcohol during the parties at the venue. It would take a lot of free alcohol to get me wasted... and i know a lot about free alcohol. I guess I also know a lot about being wasted, but that's just another blog entry waiting to happen. Seventeen years after I told my future first boss that I'll be pursuing a career in advertising, I'm still outside looking in. Back then when i was working part time as a cub writer, he never showed any inclination in hiring me full time. When i finally asked why, he told me he was expecting me to follow my declaration of going into agency work. When i told him I'm not really in a hurry, he hired me on the spot. Seventeen years of work involving writing followed. Macs, mainframe software, advocacy, company profiles, real estate, mechanical engineering, drugs, and now beer and all its trappings. On top of my regular job at PR and whatever the hell is it i'm supposed to ...

having prided myself with never having to file for sick leave my whole career here at the Escudo, a couple of bacteria and/or viruses banded together and beat the crap out of me via low risk pneumonia. Which prevented me from going on a trip to Cebu, and prevented me from doing my annual tradition as live score guy at the Beer Drinking finals, and from getting drunk in a Visayan crowd. 4 years and 4 months later, i had to seek the medical slip. some streaks were never meant to last. Having coughed out my lungs for the past 3 days, I'm not complaining. I already envisioned the mass hysteria developing inside the 9am MNL-CEB flight as soon as fellow travelers begin to sympathize with my symptoms. Despite the cocktail of drugs i was given as consolation prize, the recovery was slow as i was subjected to an incessant video festival of Elmo's world episodes, courtesy of new king of the Wild Things Elan. It's really hard to calm your nerves when you keep hearing that maniacal psy...